I Am Not a Serial Killer ~ Audiobook

 

John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it.

He's spent his life doing his best not to live up to his potential.

He's obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn't want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he's written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation.

Dead bodies are normal to John. He likes them, actually. They don't demand or expect the empathy he's unable to offer. Perhaps that's what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there's something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat---and to appreciate what that difference means.

Now, for the first time, John has to confront a danger outside himself, a threat he can't control, a menace to everything and everyone he would love, if only he could.

Book source ~ Chirp

Goodreads

StoryGraph

John Cleaver, #1

Dan Wells ~ Author

Kirby Heyborne ~ Narrator

YA | Thriller | Horror

16 October 2018

7 hrs 50 mins

My Rating ~ 4 bites

John Wayne Cleaver is a 15-year-old boy who grew up in a mortuary. Ok, not literally, he and his family live in the apartment above the mortuary. His mom, dad, and aunt are morticians and he started helping as a kid. John is obsessed with serial killers so when mysterious deaths start happening in his small home town he’s nearly beside himself with curiosity. But it’s not what he thinks. It’s not what anyone thinks.

This is a scary yet fascinating story told from a teenager’s POV. A teenager who is diagnosed as a sociopath. His therapist is pretty good, but if John had actually told him about the “monster” in his head who talks to him then I believe, along with being a sociopath, he would also be diagnosed as schizophrenic. Because my son had a monster in his head telling him to hurt us, but he would self harm instead. Once we had a proper diagnosis and he was put on meds the voice was silenced. I couldn’t help but compare John and my son even though my son is definitely not a sociopath. Anyway, back to the story…

John is an interesting character. He is highly intelligent, but is fixated on serial killers. He has one friend and gets bullied, so he’s basically an outcast even though he tries to act “normal” and not draw attention to himself. Then a murder happens. And another. John’s attention is well and truly caught by the unusual circumstances. Good thing, too, because his observations are what ends up saving his town.

I’m not a fan of his mom. I mean, instead of being supportive and actually listening to John, she worries about all the wrong things. When my son was going through what we thought were anger issues and then the schizoaffective diagnosis, I listened to him. I got him therapy. I tried to understand. I helped regulate his meds. I did what I’m supposed to do, be a mom. She is more like, why can’t you be a normal kid? Go do this and do that and just be normal. Damn, bitch. How about actually listening to him? How about accepting him as he is? Anyway, I like her more in the end, but it shouldn’t have taken what happened for her to finally get her head out of her ass. All-in-all this is a creepy story. It’s sticking with me so I’ll probably check out the rest of the series at some point.