Monster Porn Monday

My monthly review of that sub-sub-sub genre of erotica ~ monster porn. 

I read them so you don't have to.

Erotica ~ Mature 18+

*Book source ~ Kindle Unlimited

Title ~ Trail of Terror

Author ~ Analise Stone

Published ~ 3 November 2015

Pages ~ 20

My Rating ~ 1 bite and a nibble

From Goodreads:

A young advertising whiz likes to lose control outside of work. Izzy finds herself in a world she never imagined when a Halloween terror trail turns real. The demons and monsters ravish her and themselves in front of her. She should be horrified but finds the pleasure too overwhelming to resist and gives into the burning urges to be out of control and taken. She explores things about herself that she has never done before even without her thinking she wanted it.

What this blurb should have said: Terrible writing ahead! Place cushion on forehead as there will be much banging, be it head to desk or ereader to head. There will be several WTF moments and not in a good way.

This could have been a deliciously horrific erotic (horrorotica) Halloween tale. Instead it’s a mess. It desperately needs editing. Desperately. I had a hard time seeing beyond the mistakes to the story itself and that makes me sad. It also makes me not want to pick up anything else by this author.

*Book source ~ Free on Amazon

Title ~ Supernatural Seductions

Author ~ Kiki Wellingon

Published ~ 22 October 2012

Pages ~ 37

My Rating ~ 3 bites and a nibble

Jeannie and her husband buy a house in the country and plan to make it into a B&B. It comes with lovely woodwork, woods all around and a horny ghost with a perpetual woody. Wood is the word of the day. And Jeannie loves to buy a vowel. An “O” in particular. Naughty woman. Even naughtier ghost.

The fact it isn't about Sam and Dean is highly disappointing. *sigh* Anyway, this is a middle of the road monster porn. Is a ghost a monster? Unsure. But I wanted a Halloween-y (heh eh weeny) type of monster porn, so ghost it is. He is definitely very horny. And Jeannie is a bit of a slut. She says she loves her husband, but she can’t wait to push him out the door so she can have spectral orgasms with her ghostly lover. Not particularly impressed with her. The writing is only so-so, but the sex is hot. 

*Book source ~ Free on Amazon

Title ~ Dead Rising

Author ~ Amily Clark

Published ~ 21 March 2015

Pages ~ 19

My Rating ~ 2 bites and a nibble

Zoe can’t figure out what happened. She was sleeping in her basement, I’m assuming her room is down there otherwise wtf, and when she eventually manages to get out the blocked door she finds the world has changed. Apocalypse Time!

There’s not much to this zombie tale. Well, except for the zombie sex and that's only at the end. It’s a little bit like the Walking Dead and a praying mantis. Trust me. Anyway, the guy comments on how cold Zoe is when he touches her and yet when he impales her he says nothing. I mean, I thought the cold caused shrinkage in guys. How did he not notice her vag was as cold as ice? In addition, this thing needs editing and that ending? Ewwww! I guess there are more stories to this series, but after finishing this one I was paralyzed more with indifference than horror. I’ll pass.

*Book source ~ Free on Amazon

Title ~ Horny Zombies Crave Tacos, #1

Author ~ Kacey Zen

Published ~ 4 May 2015

Pages ~ 18

My Rating ~ 1 bite and a nibble

It’s the zombie apocalypse and the zombies have evolved. They no longer want brains. They want…pussy.

Seriously? This story is dumb. I mean, dumber than your run-of-the-mill monster porn. It’s a mash up of a teen slasher flick and the Walking Dead and actually references the Walking Dead in the story. Totally douchey and an insult to TWD. The writing is terrible, the editing is terrible, the plot is terrible…fuck it. It’s just terrible. Decomposing zombies shuffling around hoping to get a whiff of pussy or tacos, maybe they also dig Taco Bell? Oh wait, the tacos ARE pussy. Duh. And when they do find a female they fuck her senseless with a perfectly intact penis. I’m serious. Flesh is falling off these guys and yet the schlong is fresh as a daisy. I will not be continuing this series. The fact that it has something like 7 installments boggles my mind.