Monday, May 11, 2015

Monster Porn Monday

*Book source ~ Free
Series ~ Biblically Bad
Author ~ Avery Dom Shifter
Publisher ~ Monster Erotica Press
Published ~ 17 December 2014
Genre ~ Erotica
Pages ~ 14


My Rating ~ 3 bites and a nibble


 When Archangel Gabriel appears to Mary and informs her she is to give birth to God’s son, Mary is upset and confused. How is she to stay pure for Joseph and yet get pregnant by God? Gabriel reassures her she will remain pure while he and the Holy Spirit have their way with her. And Mary believes that shit.

Ok, technically she does stay pure in the most basic sense (her hymen stays intact), but she does have a threesome with Gabriel and the Holy Spirit. So does that experience count? Poor Joseph is in for a surprise. Whether it’s a pleasant surprise, who knows? The plot is inventive, the writing is ok and there’s humor, too. Not a bad way to while away a few minutes. Well, depending on how fast you read. I read fast, so a few minutes tops.


*Book source ~ Free
Series ~ Biblically Bad
Author ~ Avery Dom Shifter
Publisher ~ Monster Erotica Press
Published ~ 5 December 2014
Genre ~ Erotica
Pages ~ 20

My Rating ~ 3 bites


Seba and the other occupants are in for a surprise on Noah’s ark. Who knew that the unicorn and manticore were actually on the ark? And not exactly what they seemed. No wonder they're extinct.

There’s more humor in this story, but it wasn’t as fun as the others. Not sure why except the ending seemed a bit dumb. *snorts* I said dumb in relation to this farcical tale. Vagina portals? *snorts again* However, I’m going to give bonus points for using the phrase “Calm your tits.” In a biblical retelling. I admit it cracked me up.


*Book source ~ Free
Series ~ Biblically Bad
Author ~ Avery Dom Shifter
Publisher ~ Monster Erotica Press
Published ~ 5 Decemebr 2014
Genre ~ Erotica
Pages ~ 19

My Rating ~ 3 bites


Two Liliths, three brothers. When Cain, Abel and Diklah stumble upon the Liliths they are tempted by sexual pleasures. Will it be their undoing?

Ok, this was weird even for a monster porn. Not as much humor in it as I would have liked considering how strange it is, but not horrible either. Vaginas that are portals to other places? (there’s that theme again, like in the Noah’s ark tale). That swallow men whole? Yeah, I can’t wrap my head around that. Not that I want to wrap my head around…um, never mind. This is my least favorite of the four in this series.


*Book source ~ Free
Series ~ Biblically Bad
Author ~ Avery Dom Shifter
Publisher ~ Monster Erotica Press
Published ~ 5 December 2014
Genre ~ Erotica
Pages ~ 16

My Rating ~ 3 bites


The Archangels Michael and Gabriel warn Lot and his daughters about the soon to be toasted cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Hazo thinks Michael is familiar. Is he the one who has been coming to her and trying to give her pleasure even though he doesn’t have a penis? Maybe she’ll finally get some satisfaction.

Apparently the Archangels don’t have to worry about the space-time continuum because Sodom and Gomorrah are bombed by fighter jets. This one is fairly fun to read and Gabriel licking Lot’s wife after she turns to salt is funny. It would have been funnier if he had picked her up to take to the cave so they could have margaritas after the destruction was done. Ok, I’m weirder than even I thought. Michael finally getting a penis is gross, but not as gross as the original story where Lot’s daughters had sex with their father.

4 comments:

  1. The Holy Spirit in a threesome ?!!! LMAO !!!!!

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  2. HAH, your salt comment cracked me up. And the Holy Spirit in a threesome? Ummmm...

    The authors pen name also cracks me up, he or she had fun with that one. :D I'll pass on reading any of these but your reviews were fun.

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    Replies
    1. Margaritas anyone? hehehehe Yeah, that was a *cough* unholy threesome *cough*. lol

      That pen name cracks me up, too. :D

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