Monster Porn Monday

Erotica ~ Mature 18+

*Book source ~ Picked up free on Amazon.

Please note: No longer available on Amazon

Title ~ Bred by the Tree Man

Series ~ Ella & the Tree Man, #1

Author ~ Amber Black

Publisher ~ Amber Black Books

Published ~ 26 October 2012

Pages ~ 20

My Rating ~ 3 bites

Ella Daniels is an environmentalist trying to save a forest from a development. She, her sister and a bunch of others head out to chain themselves to trees in protest.  But Ella ends up isolated from the others and then instead of Ella saving the trees, she needs saving from them. How the lathe turns.

I don’t care how much of an environmentalist a person is, the thought of rough bark, pointy sticks, bugs and poison ivy in sensitive places is just…well, shiver me timbers and not in a good way. I love trees, but not in that way. And now not only has Ella been deflowered, but she’s been pollinated. Or impregnated. Whatever. How is that even possible?! I live in the woods.  You can bet I’m going to be watching these trees. In fact, I think I’ll start toting hubby’s chainsaw around. Just to make my point. Emphatically.

*Book source ~ Picked up free on Amazon.

Please note: No longer available on Amazon

Title ~ Captured by the Cave Dwellers

Series ~ no clue

Author ~ Adeline Freed

Publisher ~ Adeline Freed

Published ~ 25 January 2014

Pages ~ 14

My Rating ~ 3 bites

Dr. Sarah Flight is an expert in geothermal energy and cave formation. She’s heading down into the bowels of the Earth for a month long research assignment and will be on her own hundreds of feet beneath the surface. With only a panic button and a hardwired phone in case of emergency, she would have no contact with anyone on the surface except for a check-in once a week. To her, it’s heaven. Until they take her.

Sarah is young, beautiful and a super genius. She can’t wait to get to her research station underground. She’s happy and excited. And then she’s kidnapped by humanoid dudes, stripped and violated. Many times. Then they carry her off to who knows where and she feels as if she’ll never get free, let alone find her way back to the surface if she does manage to ditch the walking fucking machines. Ok, first…being underground is no. Just, no. No fucking way would you get me down that far. *shudder* Then these cave dudes would freak me out.  What they hell are they eating down there with no sunlight? Just the thought…ewwwww! This whole story creeps me out. And finally, the title needs to be modified. I mean, come on! The whole thing is:  

CAPTURED BY THE CAVE DWELLERS (Erotic Horror A Mile beneath the Surface): A Monster Sex Erotica Story (TAKEN FOR THE TROGLODYTE KING).

No. Stop. Trim that shit up. Way too long. How am I supposed to take this book seriously with a title like that?

*Book source ~ Picked up free on Amazon.

Title ~ Taken by the Great Green Lizard

Series ~ Obsession in After Earth, #1

Author ~ Bree Glenn

Publisher ~ Northstar Monserotica

Published ~ 13 January 2014

Pages ~ 14

My Rating ~ 3 bites

Lara lives in dystopian Earth. An alien invasion has screwed Earth up but good, but it’s been a few centuries and things are settling down a bit. Lara is a forager. One day while on walkabout she finds a previously undiscovered orchard and a stream with fish in it. She’s so happy thinking about the bounty she’ll be able to bring back to her people that she’s startled when a creature walks out of the forest. They’ve been taught to run when seeing the monsters that were genetically engineered by the aliens, but something about this green bastard intrigues Lara. Nonetheless she’s relieved when it disappears and she can hightail it back to her village. But she can’t stop thinking about the lizard with the human eyes.

So, this dystopian world is depressing. Aliens and their genetically engineered monsters, even dinosaurs? No thanks. I’m skeptical about this orchard and stream. I mean, come on. No one has discovered it in all their forays? A little far fetched. But then there’s this green lizard that is very human-like. When Lara goes back to her village and has sex with Talin, a much sought after forager, it’s like she’s channeling the lizard. I was very confused by the whole sex scene. What the hell was going on? I was left scratching my head and thinking I’d been cheated out of some monster porn. There was no real lizard peen. That’s wrong. So wrong.