Monday, September 1, 2014

Monster Porn Monday

Mature 18+
*Book source ~ Free on Amazon
Author ~ Isabel Dare
Publisher ~ Isabel Dare
Published ~ 21 February 2013
Genre ~ Erotica | Mythology | M/m
Pages ~ 22


My Rating ~ 3 bites

Theseus, the Prince of Athens, has helped the other 13 sacrifices to escape, but none wanted to help him tackle the monster of the labyrinth. Theseus navigates the labyrinth alone in search of the Minotaur. He’s sure he won’t be able to defeat it with his crappy sword, but he must try. He has no idea that the Minotaur gets sacrifices every seven years for a whole different reason than is widely believed. But he’s about to find out.

So, a Minotaur. Very monsterly and mythological to boot. I like it except for one thing. I grew up on a farm. I’ve seen what cows/bulls do with snotty noses and long tongues. Ewwwww! It’s really gross. Trust me. Anyway, this Minotaur looks mostly human except for the head *shudder* and the fact he (it?)  is huge with an appropriate monster cock. Theseus is an innocent in the ways of sex and has never even thought about being with another guy, but the Minotaur is about to break him in with all kinds of kinky shit. Choking and gagging on cock is apparently a favorite porn device now, but it does zero for me. In fact, it turns me off. Anyway, other than that, the rest of this story is surprisingly good for monster porn. I’d definitely read more of this series. But only if it’s free. :D


*Book source ~ Free on Amazon
Series ~ Artifacts of Power, #1
Author ~ Diana Katsaros
Publisher ~ Pretty Pink Books
Published ~ 16 March 2013
Genre ~ Erotica | Mythology
Pages ~ 12

My Rating ~ 2 bites

Cori is a workaholic saleswoman who has been forced to take a vacation by her bosses. Working like a fiend for five years with no time for relationships of any kind, she doesn’t have anyone to take with her, so she goes alone to Greece. Knowing everyone will expect vacation photos she decides to get them all done in one day then concentrate on ways to be even more successful. She didn’t plan on an old woman giving her a powerful artifact of the god Pan and experiencing some satyr lovin’.

Forcing someone orally onto a cock until it chokes and gags them is not something that interests me or turns my crank. Not even a little bit. There’s a lot of that in this story when Cori encounters three satyrs. Plus, satyrs are apparently very lusty, so they take her over and over and over again. So much so, she loses count. Probably because there’s no variety to the fucking. I just didn’t feel it in this story. The characters seemed wooden and not in a good way. I didn’t like Cori and the satyrs never say a word. This could have used a bit more editing, too. How do you spell your character’s name wrong? All-in-all I give this an “Eh.”


*Book source ~ Free on Amazon
Author ~ Autumn Crowl
Publisher ~ Autumn Crowl
Published ~ 17 December 2013
Genre ~ Erotica | Fantasy
Pages ~ 8

My Rating ~ 3 bites

An unnamed scientist searching for evidence of trolls makes a discovery of monumental proportions. She winds up making history, but didn’t exactly tell the truth in her findings.  It makes one wonder how much of history has been tweaked a bit to hide something or make a person or situation appear better than it was.

Ok, so this woman has a team, but goes off on her own, winds up in a weird cave and then goes to sleep on a sleeping bag she happens to be humping along. The stage for some troll lovin’ is set. Being woken up by a large prehensile tongue is not my idea of a fun time, but who knew that trolls have such wonderful and mobile tongues? And their cocks? Woo doggie!  About 8” of sorta “normal-looking” cock and then another 6” or so at the base is even wider around and…has spikes. Oh, hell-to-the no! Spikes? Eeeeek! And then there’s his cum. Lots and lots of it and it’s strangely sweet. All I could think about was the waterfall of glaze at Krispy Kreme and I’m not sure I’ll be able to go there again without thinking about troll porn, giggling madly and having people look weirdly at me and inching away. Anyway... all-in-all, not a bad way to spend 10 minutes or so.

6 comments:

  1. Those titles and reviews make me laugh so much, I'll have to read something monstrous one day :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You really must because they are so entertaining. :D

      Delete
  2. Spikes? Oh hell no. And no to the gagging and choking on cock. No no no no.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ikr (to both of those). And I know that some people enjoy that kink, but not me. I don't even like reading about it. My imagination is too vivid sometimes. lol

      Delete
  3. Oh my. I do not even have words. I need more coffee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Always caffeinate before clicking on MPM. :D

      Delete