Monday, March 7, 2016

Monster Porn Monday

My monthly review of that sub-sub-sub genre of erotica ~ monster porn. 
I read them so you don't have to.
Erotica ~ Mature 18+

*Book source ~ Kindle Unlimited
Author ~ Samantha Stone
Published ~ 26 November 2013 
Pages ~ 16

My Rating ~ 4 bites

Lisa works at the County Coroner’s Office and when the sexy man she’s been admiring ends up on her table she’s so disappointed. She didn’t have the opportunity to make a play for him, so she decides the next best thing is to bring him back to life. She gives him a few new body parts then hits him with some juice. Will she end up with a creature or BBQ?

Ok, I have to admit that other than the creep factor of bringing a dead guy to life so she can shag him, this is a pretty good story. It starts at 12%, but it doesn’t short-change at the end. Well-written and moderately hot, the only problem with it is it moves too fast to be “believable” and what Lisa does to Henry is despicable. The ending is questionable, too (like nobody is going to look down there after talking to Henry?), but I’ll go with it. Maybe Lisa will move him someplace else. At least the writing is decent and it looks like it’s actually been edited. Big pluses in my book. I’d definitely read more by this author.


*Book source ~ Kindle Unlimited 
Title ~  Taken by a Mummy
Author ~ Folia Deux
Published ~ 7 October 2013
Pages ~ 27

My Rating ~ 4 bites

Francesca works in the Egyptology wing of the Met. The mummy, Ramses II, creeps her out so she calls him IT. She’s not had sex in weeks, but that doesn’t explain her extreme horniness whenever she’s alone in the wing at night. Until the night IT comes alive.

When a short story starts at 11% I think that’s a cheat. Though it does go all the way to 100%. Still. It’s already short, don’t shorten it even more. Then name dropping Prada right off the bat. As someone who doesn’t give a shit about shoes I say whoop-dee-do. A brand of lingerie is also mentioned but I neither know nor care about it. Whatever. So…the story. At least it’s well-written and it appears to have been edited by someone competent. I can’t recall any mistakes and most importantly, the sexual positions are not impossible and each step is explained. I didn’t have to wonder at any time how the fuck they got there. Which is a pleasant change compared to a lot of monster porn. The mummy morphs so she ends up not with a monster, but it starts out as such so I won’t bitch too much about the non-monster sex. Because what she had to do at first is gross enough. lol All-in-all I would read more by this author.

*Book source ~ Kindle Unlimited
Author ~ Robyn North
Published ~ 26 November 2013 
Pages ~ 19

My Rating ~ 2 bites

The swamp beast and his giganamous cock are very busy. What stamina! Much stench. Wow.


Warning: This author has a fondness for question marks? They’re so curvy? They look like anal hooks? Who knows? This story is a series of short varying POVs all revolving around this swamp beast and his mighty hungry penis. Or mighty, hungry penis. Either way works. The writing is so-so and it needs editing, proofreading or both. Also, I recommend a thesaurus. There are other words besides stench, vile and knickers. And calling the head of the penis bell-end (multiple times no less) makes me think of the Salvation Army bell ringers. Repetition is not your friend especially when it sounds ridiculous. Five women taken and the police are left scratching their collective asses. How big is this city/town/place anyway? How far is this beast traveling? The story just ends with the beast and his harem of five. At this point I don’t really care what happens.


*Book source ~ Kindle Unlimited
Title ~  Anna: Ravished by Aliens
Note*(new title: Anna: Taken by Aliens)
Series ~ Seeding the Sorority: Ravished by Aliens, #1
Note*(new series name: KNT in the Alien Clearing, #1)
Author ~ Olivia Scott-Hill
Published ~ 24 November 2015 
Pages ~ 23

My Rating ~ 3 bites

Anna is the President of the rich, privileged and slutty Kappa Nu Tau sorority. A sorority full of bitches who go a bit too far and end up on the verge of being disbanded by Hillcrest University’s Dean Tennyson. Sent to Camp Clear Lake to help whip it into shape for disabled kids to enjoy, the sorority is about to find out there are worse things than manual labor. Or maybe not, considering how slutty they are.

Starts at 14%. Why is there an excerpt when I’ve already got the damn book? Then it ends at 89%. Not cool! Anyway, needs a final editing and/or proofing polish, but for the most part it’s a decently written alien-tentacle-Friday-the-13ish tale. The word slimy is used a bit too often, but there’s not a whole lot of synonyms for it. And I did mention tentacles, right?! Because…tentacles! 

6 comments:

  1. None of these sound like stories I'd enjoy but ask always I enjoyed your reviews.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm always happy to entertain. :D Plus, I enjoyed the monster movie theme. I need to look for more of these. ;)

      Delete
  2. It's always fun to see what books you find for this meme you do. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some I search for and some just fall into my lap. lol

      Delete
  3. Ok so now I have two more to add to my reading list ;) I thought i commented on this post already but I know I read it on Monday! All that waiting on Baby Boone had me all confused lol :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and me both! This week has just been crazy. lol Enjoy the books! I need to find more monster movie monster porn.

      Delete