Monster Porn Monday

Erotica ~ Mature 18+

*Books source ~ Picked up free on Amazon

Title ~ Creamed by Cave Creatures

Series ~ Monster Mayhem, #1

Author ~ Chelsea Chaynes

Publisher ~ Chelsea Chaynes

Published ~ 14 August 2014

Pages ~ 38

My Rating ~ 1 bite and a nibble

Lina needs to go down. It’s musty. It’s moist. It’s dark. But if she wants to finish her doctorate then she must get the samples she needs. So she descends into the deep cave, the dark unknown and hope she’ll find what she needs. And find something she does.

The writing is piss poor and the porn is below average. Only about 40% off this is actual story the rest is shit I don’t care about. But that’s ok. I was done with it long before I reached the so-called end. It’s totally dark, so there’s not much description of these cave creatures, the sex is ho-hum and the “end” is pure horror. Even if it were more descriptive the writing needs work. Lots of work.  There’s nothing to see here, move along.

Title ~ The Wicked Woods

Series ~ Monstrous Tales, #1

Author ~ Kelly Apple

Publisher ~ Kelly Apple

Published ~ 7 December 2013

Pages ~ 41

My Rating ~ 4 bites

Ari has a high sex drive and with no man to help a girl out, she relies on her nimble fingers and active imagination to quench the constant fire in her loins. Does she dream of Alpha males? Sophisticated billionaires? Rock stars, athletes or motorcycle thugs? Nope. Ari has a particular penchant for monsters. Monsters of any type or shape. As long as she’s not forced into doing things she doesn’t want to do then it’s all thrusters go in her imaginings. Weird? Maybe. But monsters aren’t real and they’re just daydreams. Or are they?

Now this is what I like to see in my monster porn, it’s well-written. Oh, and it has delicious monster sex. The monster is monster-y enough (tentacles!) without being gross (any kind of slime is just ick) or ridiculous (dinosaurs anyone?) and he’s considerate of his human bedmate. Well, until his monsterish instincts kick in, but even then Ari is all systems go. This book ends, but the door is wide open for more sexual monster acrobatics between Ari and her Guardian. She really needs to come up with a name for him since he doesn’t have one. I’m definitely curious to see how Ari juggles her human life and her monster lover.

Title ~ Invading My Insides

Series ~ Alien Annexation, #1

Author ~ Ginger Belle

Publisher ~ KB Erotica

Published ~ 7 March 2015

Pages ~ 19

My Rating ~ 3 bites

Cassie and Lex

Sitting in a spaceship

k-i-s-s-i-n-g

(and so much more)

Attending an engagement party for friends Cassie never thought she would catch her own fiancé in a compromising position.  Devastated, it’s while she’s walking home from that fateful party that she’s abducted by aliens. But not Independence Day aliens, Predator aliens or Alien aliens. These aliens are looking for pleasure mates and they’ve chosen curvy Cassie.

Points for cool aliens and inventive sex, but the writing is mediocre. The dialogue is stilted. It doesn’t flow naturally, so it interrupts the mood of the story. I mean, how many times do you actually say someone’s name in conversation? Apparently a shitload according to this tale. Plus, Cassie is very down on herself for being a bigger girl. Her self-confidence is practically zero and it got annoying hearing her run herself down. Blerg. I’m wondering about the fine line these G'lali draw between “mate” and “slave”? They are taking people to be mates but that word could easily be substituted with slave. I’m unsure if the person is given the choice to stay or go after the so-called test. Lex gives Cassie the option, but is that typical? Who knows? Anyway, this story ends, but it’s left open for more. Not sure I’ll be picking them up even if they’re free.

Title ~ The Goddess and the T-Rex

Author ~ Amanda Lash

Publisher ~ Amanda Lash

Published ~ 10 August 2014

Pages ~ 14

My Rating ~ 1 bite and a nibble

The Goddess Aphrodite has been hurtled back in time by her angry husband Hephaestus. She may be the Goddess of Love, but he doesn’t like it when she’s unfaithful to him and this time he’s been pushed too far. Now Aphrodite needs to get herself home to Olympus before the mighty T-Rex eats her and not in the good way.

Dinosaurs. Why do I keep reading these kinds of monster porn? They are so ridiculous and yet I can’t seem to stop. However, I will say, since Aphrodite is a Goddess she’s much better equipped to handle dino-dick than a mere human. Too bad this story is horribly written. Ugh. Better writing and more porn probably would have elevated this to a 3, maybe even a 4. Don’t waste your time on this one. It’s bad even by MP standards.