Monday, September 7, 2015

Monster Porn Monday


Erotica ~ Mature 18+




*Book source ~ Free on Amazon
Series ~ Bound by Cavemen
Author ~ Emma Clark
Publisher ~ Emma Clark
Published ~ 24 October 2013
Pages ~ 24

My Rating ~ 3 bites

When Glory’s mate doesn’t return from his hunt and the other males start getting ideas about her and her new defenseless situation, Glory packs up some supplies and sneaks off in hopes of finding her mate. Instead she finds someone else entirely.

This doesn’t exactly fall into monster porn territory, but I already read it so here ya go. It’s more like two different species of man during the Paleolithic Period or as I like to say, Caveman Times. It strongly reminded me of Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel. I wonder if the author is a fan? Anyway, Glory runs away because she’s afraid of what will happen to her with her mate gone. She passes out from hypothermia and finds herself at the mercy of some other kind of human. One who is an enemy to her kind. Glory likes being tied up and ravished by her savior. He also takes care of her. So, this is like prehistoric BDSM. Writing is ok, but I totally hated the cliffhanger ending. And they were literally on a cliff. Wtf?



*Book source ~ Free on Amazon
Author ~ Max Benoit
Publisher ~ Max Benoit
Published ~ 3 November 2013
Pages ~ 28

My Rating ~ 4 bites

Lauren has always wanted to be a marine biologist. She loves her job at the aquarium, working with the whales, but she really hates the cephalopods. They disgust her and they act as if they own the aquarium. When she finds octopus scars on her whale calf she blows up. She gets tighter security measures implemented, but now she feels like she’s being targeted by the octopi. They’re really creeping her out and one night, her fears are realized.

Ok, I’ve never been a big fan of the octopus, but they’ve never creeped me out before. Until now. *shudders* This is more like horror erotica and the dread is strong with this one. They seem seriously malevolent and talk about total non-consensual sex. Eeeee! Not badly written for monster porn, the suspense is quite well-done (but then I’m a big pussy when it comes to horror) and Lauren really gets some up close and personal Tentacle Time (ewwww, slime!). However, now, I will never look at Squidward the same way ever again. Plus, the woman in charge of the cephalopods is…well, what a bitch. If you’re looking for fun monster porn this isn’t it. If you want dark, creepy monster porn then here ya go.


*Book source ~ Free on Amazon
Title ~ Biggie
Author ~ Trace Dex
Publisher ~ Trace Dex
Published ~ 16 May 2014
Pages ~ 29

My Rating ~ 3 bites

Laila and her sister Mindy head out into the woods to avoid a boring family party. While Mindy smokes a joint, Laila teases her that Bigfoot is out there. When there’s rustling in the brush from something large, they take off running, Mindy leaving Laila far behind. Soon, it’s just Laila. And Bigfoot.

How do these women keep from shitting themselves when they encounter something like Bigfoot out in the forest? I think I’d be like, “Run! Run fast as fast can be!” Not, “Oh, how soft and cuddly and big. Big hands. Big feet. I think I’d like to fuck him.” And he’s soft and smells good. How?! Oh, because he scares off hikers and then loots their packs left behind. Wtf? Do they have industrial-sized conditioner in their packs? Because hello? That’s a lot of fucking hair/fur on a Bigfoot! Ok, ok, so it’s not supposed to be realistic, but shit. Hey, speaking of shit…I wonder, does it stick to his fur? *waves hands around* Nevermind. Laila sure knows how to tame the wild beast. If you like gentle, giant, fur-covered virgins then this is the one for you.  

6 comments:

  1. That last review, LMFAO. I'll pass on all three stories but please don't stop the reviews.

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    1. I don't think I could stop now if I tried. LOL

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  2. Your reviews just crack me up! I would never read these so it's fun to get your take on them. :)

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    1. They're fun to read. Usually. lol And fun to write. :)

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  3. Ok so I am not going to lie and I read Octopused and it was friggin scary! It was also very weird and that lady is a BITCH!

    You never know bigfoot might have naturally soft and silky hair-fur. Maybe :)

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    1. I warned you! LOL And yes, she is. Grrr!

      Ok, it's *possible* but highly unlikely. lolol

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