Erotica ~ Mature 18+
Please note: These were free when I picked them up, but may no longer be so.
*Book source
~ Free on Amazon
Title ~ Queen of the Raptors
Author ~ Brennica Fairchild
Publisher ~ 5 Alarm Books
Published ~ 13 October 2013
Pages ~ 25
My Rating ~ 1 bite and a nibble
Megan
and her best friend Amanda are in a group of foreign exchange students in England Stonehenge
something strange happens and they end up going back in time to when dinosaurs
roamed the Earth. Megan and Amanda come across some velociraptors and they
realize these aren’t just any dinosaurs. They’re oh, so horny, dinosaurs.
This
story is not very well-written. The characters have zero depth and the group of
college kids are stereotypical. Megan and Amanda are complete ditzes and when
they eat some wacky berries, (because it’s good to just chow down on unknown
plants and shit) they end up having sex with velociraptors. Or did they? Was it
all part of the hallucination? Was it dinosaurs, cavemen or some guys from
their own group? I have no idea, but the idea of getting it on with a dinosaur
of any kind is just too weird. Hello?! Multiple razor-sharp teeth! Huge ass
claws! And the hornysaurs use both of those all over their bodies as well as pumping
their dinococks into them until they spew cum like “thick bits of warm slime…”
*shudder* And.They.Love.It! Idiots. Yeah. Wacky berries or not that is so not
happening. Moving on…
*Book source
~ Free on Amazon
Title ~ Come the Chupacabra
Author ~ Ffion Rhys
Publisher ~ Ffion Rhys
Published ~ 31 December 2013
Pages ~ 34
My Rating ~ 4 bites
Bree’s
best friend Misha needed a tenth student to make the anthropology field trip a
possibility. A week in the wilds of the hot and humid Yucatan looking for the
mysterious pack of Chupacabra wasn’t her idea of fun, but for Misha she’d do
just about anything, so she agreed to go. Typical of just about any group there
are asshats and non-asshats. One can only hope the Chupacabra are real and the
asshats end up à la Friday the 13th.
Put
hot college students together and what do you get? Bickering and sex. Add in
some mystical monsters and what do you get? Mayhem and monster sex. This story
is fairly well-written. It could use a final polish since there are some
awkwardly worded sentences, but overall it’s pretty good. It’s got a bit of
Friday the 13th seasoned with monster movie horror followed by lots
and lots of sex. The sex scenes aren’t as detailed as they could be, but still
hot. And yay for Chupacabra sex! These poor guys are so horny and they really
don’t live up to the fearsome reputation that precedes them. I like the idea
that the monster is supposed to be evil and foul, but is actually quite gentle.
I hope there will be more coming. Um, stories. Stories coming.
*Book source
~ Free on Amazon
Title ~ Abducted by the Kraken
Author ~ Tammy Black
Publisher ~ Tammy Black
Published ~ 1 February 2013
Pages ~ 24
My Rating ~ 1 bite
Emily
shakes the dust of a small North Carolina town
off her feet and heads to L.A.
No.
Just, no. I cannot express how bad this story is. First, the writing is
horrible. My kids did better when they were in middle school. Verb tenses and
narrative flip flop more than a freshly landed fish. Repetition is a constant,
like herpes. Second, the characters are flat. No depth at all to them and Emily
is unlikeable. Third, the plot is barely there. No, I take that back. There
really is no plot. And the conclusion had me absently scratching my ass, trying
to figure out dafuq I had just read.
Just
because this is monster porn, does not mean it can’t be well-written. Or, at
the very least, amusing! This is dog shit on the bottom of your shoe, easy to
pick up, hard to scrape off. My pervy followers, do not waste your time on this
one. I threw myself down on it and sacrificed precious neurons in my brain so
that you would survive. You’re welcome.
:D The Chupacabra story sounds promising but I'll skip the others.
ReplyDeleteI quite enjoyed the Chupacabra story. :) The others...ugh.
DeleteLmao, I read and enjoyed some pretty twisted books, but I can't see myself reading this. I think this genre would be probably like a comedy/parody or horror to me. Glad that at least the story with chupacabra was enjoyable. :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's hard to pigeonhole this stuff. That's why I just call it monster porn. Not really a genre, but it may as well be with all that's out there. lol I did like the Chupacabra one. I'm thinking of reading it again. lol
DeleteI would never read these but it's always fun to see what you have on your Monster Porn post..lol. :)
ReplyDeleteAs long as I'm entertaining you then it's all worth it. lol
DeleteYou crack me up and now I might want to know more about Chupacabra sex. These are fantastic and the covers make the graphic designer in me cringe lol. As always great reviews, I love these posts lol
ReplyDeleteI haven't found a monster porn cover yet that's worthy or even relevant. lol I want some more of that Chupacabra sex. To read. Some more to read. I mean, to my knowledge, I've never had Chupacabra sex. lol
DeleteLMAO! I just love Monster Porn Monday (or Wednesday since I'm behind) ! Thanks for taking the bullet on that last one, sounds pretty bad. I'm curious about this chupacabra though! Hilarious as always :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not bragging or anything, but my reviews are better written than some of these books. Ah, well. I don't know how good or bad it is until I read it. LOL Thank you. Glad to entertain. ;)
DeleteOh my good this shit cracks me up. I am going to have to break down and read one just for shits and giggles. Come the Chupacabra looks like it was good and your last sentence..so bad Carol.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to dive into this pool please make sure the monster porn is free. I mean, I would be willing to pay 99¢ for the Chupacabra book, but for the most part in this 'genre', free is the way to go. lol Sorry about that last sentence. It just flowed out of my fingers onto the keyboard. hehe
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